21 ✨

Happy 21st birthday to me!

February 2019 was the first time I turned on my laptop and started my first draft, a two-page piece of art in MS word of “Am I Good Enough?”, which depicted embarrassment, anger, fear and demotivation of a 19-year-old girl, who went so far yet felt so small. Two years later, I still spit out all my hidden words into writing, but as paranoid as it seems, always struggled to choose the right words.

February is pleasantly fantastic, not because of the Valentine’s day, but more of my initial intention to always begin any new journey in February and early March because it makes me feel everything has a new beginning. I started writing this blog when I just came back from work — exhausted, excited and well, extra lazy. Twenty-one is an anticipated age — the graduation, the beginning of another new endeavor, the spirit of becoming a true adult — but little did I know I need to start this 21st journey without a loving family member whom I’m sure is already in peace. Talking to this point, 21 will be super fruitful, flowery, vigorous & extraordinary because of the ultra independence I need to lift on my shoulders — the fact that I can never escape, and I never want to.

21 things I have learned as I turn 21:

1. Manage Your Personal Finance. It is never smart to spend 70% of what you earn. Rather than being broke at the end of the month, watch out your daily expenses.
2. Start Early. Sometimes you’ll never be ready or confident enough to begin anything; thus, it’s better to catch the opportunity now than to cry for it later.
3. It is okay to not having a specific goal. After graduating from high school, I was indecisive about what major to study or which college to choose, cuz during high school, I excelled pretty much in every subject. I enrolled in a medium-ranking university and chose a major which is often called “too general”. After studying, I enjoy the flow, take advantage of opportunities and always aim to learn something new. Sometimes the blurry first step takes you to the higher mountain, who knows!
4. You don’t need love to feel loved. A lot of people get into relationship; some are happy, some are not, and some decided to stay knowing it would not work. Personally, you can’t live without love, but it comes primarily when you love yourself enough and you’re sure with the person you wanna spend your life with. If you aren’t certain of it, why bother waste your time?
5. Speak Up. Rather than being called “bold”, we were told we are too loud, but keep being loud when things get unfair for you. You aren’t in the 19th century when women were regarded as a piece of white cloth which got dirty with a single black dot. Society tries to embrace women empowerment by initiating many social activities to boost women’s participation in school, workplace and parliament. You can’t just sit back and enjoy the given benefits without helping yourself. If they say you are loud, say it LOUDER!
6. Having low ambiguity tolerance should not be your weakness. It is acceptably fine to live with doubts and move on only when your questions are answered.
7. If they think you are stupid, act stupid. After working at several places and joining many programs, I learned that it is very important to be confident to speak up, but not with everyone. Sometimes when you are underestimated without having enough chances to explain yourself, act stupid, look for new opportunity and leave.
8. Seek for Help — either from physician, psychologist, teacher, mentor, etc. Suicide doesn’t solve anything. A lot of people aim to live your current lives. If you are stuck, take action and move.
9. Give it a “Second” shot. Things do not often work out with a single try, sometimes it takes years of sacrifice and commitment to get what you want. If you fail at your first attempt, give it another shot.
10. Do not Settle. Know your worth and do not settle for anything less than you deserve.
11. Revenge and competition should never be an option. Put yourself first — if you want to compete, do it with your growth, strength, goals and commitment; you’ll always win!
12. If you’re from a middle-income family, be proud. Things get better when you have a lot of money, but life would be too boring if you had everything without even trying.
13. No is a No. Reject people, things, workplace or opportunities that does not suit your growth.
14. “All the Good Girls Go to Hell” — Billie Eilish. Break the rules sometimes ;)
15. Stay Beautiful. If things don’t work out, at least you’re stunning and confident with yourself!
16. People always have things to say; thus, do it anyway. Old saying goes: watch out what you hear about a woman — it’s either from a man who can’t get her or a woman who can’t compete with her. And it’s true, why? Because people who are better than you aren’t free enough to sit and analyze your weaknesses — they are too busy working on their dreams. Those who are shit-talking about you are those who wish to be you, but can’t!
17. If you survive one day, you will survive one year. No worthwhile moments come with easy efforts!
18. Family first. When everything turns back on you, your family will always give you an open arm. Do you call yourself successful when you excel in career but fail in family matter?
19. The higher the tree, the stronger the wind. Be ready to make big decisions and pay for huge opportunity cost if you aim to be on top.
20. You’re gonna meet a lot of people — don’t try to imitate and lose yourself in between. Someone out there is extra special, but you’re your own limited edition. Embrace it!
21. Sometimes the flood comes, to see whether you sink or you swim.

28 February 2021

21 is beautiful. Thank you:

#numinternationalcollege #eurochamcambodia #globalugradscholarship #eusharescholarship #chipmongscholarship #unitednationsgcns #oxfordintellectualpropertymoot #aseanfoundationmodelaseanmeeting #afmamtrainingoftrainers #khmermodelaseanmeeting #cambodianationalmodelaseanmeeting #cimbyoungaseanleaders #taacproject #ymcacompetition and more to come ❤️